Passing Pre Cana

Javier and I had a busy weekend full of wedding prep!  But instead of having a slew of DIY projects and purchases to share – I’ve got none.  This past weekend, instead of checking off several items from our wedding planning ‘To-Do,’ we checked off one big to-do!  PRE CANA J  In addition to a ridiculous ton substantial decent amount of paperwork and counseling, the Catholic Church requires that couples wishing to be married attend Pre Cana. 

Javier and I attended our Pre Cana (called Three to Get Married) at the Center for Family Development in Bethesda over the weekend.  I’ll let the center describe for you the purpose and goals for the event:

Our program aims to provide each couple with a reflective and in-depth preparation for a joyful, faith filled marriage – based on love that not only endure but actually grows stronger year after year.

And provide for you some of the pros and cons that Javier and I took from the weekend.

Cons:

-It was a lot of time.  We started Thursday night 7pm-930pm, came back on Friday 7pm-930pm as well as Saturday 830am-5pm and Sunday 9am-430pm.  So when I said busy….I meant busy.

-Judging.  There was some judging.  We knew going in that Javier and I haven’t made all the ‘Catholic’ choices leading up to our marriage and were prepared for some level of chastisement regarding these.  I was only truly offended twice: 1) during our private interview on the first night when a non-Catholic answer caused our interviewer to visibly react with disdain and 2) while listening to the CD they provided for each couple on the way home Saturday evening.  The CD covered a controversial topic: Natural Family Planning (that was presented just beautifully in person that day), but was completely butchered in the talk.  The CD was incredibly judgmental, but I was mostly bothered by the consistent, broad conclusions Janet Smith drew without providing much evidence or any explanation. 

Pros:

-The food!  (Come on, you know I’m gonna care about the food…) While it wasn’t gourmet, I was pleasantly surprised with the quality and selection of foods.  Particularly with the lentil soup we had for lunch on Saturday.  (I’ve never worked a lot with lentils, but it totally inspired me to try and make some soup!) and the snacks they put out mid-afternoon J

-Schedule/Time for discussion.  The center did a really good job breaking up the day to ensure we were never sitting and passively listening for too long.  During all four days, we listened to a variety of ‘talks’ and then, after each, had the opportunity to discuss them alone as a couple.  They even provided ‘discussion questions’ that they suggested we answer separately and then come together to share for each talk.

-Lecturers.  Most of the talks (Thurs, Fri and Sat) were given by married couples.  They were all volunteers at the center and provided such a real (sometimes colorful) experience.  This definitely helped promote my interest in the talks and made them far more interesting.

Javier and I both agreed that overall, the weekend was totally worth it.  We each learned some new things about each other; our needs, communication styles and love languages.  (They actually referenced this book which was a gift I received at my shower!  I am in the middle of reading it and pulled it out of my purse when it was mentioned by the couple lecturing.  Javier was incredibly embarrassed, but I thought we should have earned pre cana gold stars or something…) While Javier and I had already discussed most of the topics we covered at the retreat: finances, families, temperaments, etc. we got some new perspectives on a few that we hadn’t considered and set some goals for our marriage and how we can prepare for it.

Oh! And we passed J

Invitations (Part III)

stamping party at the Bottomses'

With such beautiful invitations in hand, we started trying to finalize the look and feel of the envelop we’d be sticking them in.  (This was where I think I lost my Dad and maybe even Javs.)  I started talking about stamps.  That’s right, stamps.  I wanted some fun quirky stamps to go with our paper bag invites and Ash Lawn wedding.   ‘They’ (whoever they are….) say that the invitation sets the tone for you wedding, so why not start right when our guests see the envelop in that stack of bills and advertisements.

I was in on the stamping fun too :)

Javier and I looked into buying some custom stamps on Zappos.com.  They were really cool, but so expensive (over twice what the normal stamp would cost…).  We had gone to the post office to have the invites weighed and knew it was going to be at least $0.85 to mail them (an extra $0.20 for the square shape and $0.20 for the weight).  With the custom option we could have ordered a $0.85 stamp exactly, but decided it wasn’t worth it in the end.  Instead, we started narrowing down current $0.45 USPS stamps to the ones we liked and thought fit our fall/outside/laid back/wedding feel J  It was actually Javier (even with his lack of concern regarding the stamp that would mail our invites…) that pushed for the adorable weathervane stamps that adorned your invite.  They were rustic and kind of fun!

I had been pushing for stamps that included some color because I was starting to worry that our neutral invites and white envelops would be too drab.  But I ended up finding the pop of color I was looking for when another bride suggested I look on ebay for some Virginia/Charlottesville related stamps.  And there he was….bright and green and totally fitting in with our plans.  I eagerly sent the link to Javs and asked if we could splurge to buy 200 one cent Thomas Jefferson stamps to add to our envelops.  (The perfect addition for a Charlottesville wedding!)  He sweetly obliged and even remarked ‘how cool’ they were as we licked each and positioned them on your invites J  I LOVED them and only commented 194862 times during our stuffing sessions how happy I was with our stamps (particularly TJ).

 In addition to stamps, we wanted to have the envelops addressed.  Javier and I both have the hand writing of a nine year old boy, but couldn’t rationalize spending $$ to have them professionally written.  Lucky for us, our friend (and talented designer) Kate offered to address our envelops as a wedding present to us.  Awesome!  I dropped off a sample of our invites (she got one of the awful, ink stained ones) and she sent some designs for the addresses.  We ended up going with a less traditional design that incorporated the font we were using for our own names on the invite.  With the design selected, Kate cranked out 130+ envelops for us….amid finishing up her job and packing for a move to Atlanta.  What a trooper!  Thanks again Kate, we’ve gotten so many compliments on the awesome calligraphy J

Stamps on, envelops addressed – we were ready to stuff!  But stuffing actually ended up bringing about two additions to our invites.  1) I decided I really did want to make envelop liners.  I loved our TJ stamps and thought a splash of green when you opened the envelop would tie everything together.  2) (speaking of tying) we decided that we wanted to tie our suite together so that when folks pulled out the invites, they stayed in one stack.  When designing them in photoshop we planned it so that you could stack each piece (invite, reception card and RSVP) and our little A&J would line up with each card label.  You just didn’t get the same effect pulling the cards out one by one.  SO a week later than planned, but with envelop liners and each suite tied, we sent the invites out on Saturday the 18^th (exactly 8 weeks from our wedding date!).  Even with a few snafus with the post office, they got mailed and you’ve received them J  I ended up being so happy with how they turned out!  I hope they made you smile (the tone I want set for October 13^th!)

This was the first post office we tried....do you think they're open?

(they weren't) but this one was!  Invitations sent :)

Invitations (Part II)

I left you hanging with my invitation dilemma: the invitation we selected and loved could not be worded the way we needed it to through mint.com.  It’s funny how time really does heal wounds and fades bad memories.  Still riding on the compliments we received for our saved the dates, I decided I could duplicate our beloved invitation in photoshop, where we could adjust the wording to be anything we wanted and have it printed professionally (for much cheaper).

Remember our adorable paper bag envelops?

So I got to work, surprised at how little I remembered from my save the date endeavor.  Having a ‘template’ to work off of meant less thought was needed (I was mostly trying to copy) but it also meant that I had a physical copy of the ‘perfect’ version which set my standards….high.  I ended up downloading a few free fonts from here to try to match the style and look on the invitation from mint.com.  We worked on several rounds and versions of the back ground of the invitation (part of the reason we picked these) to try to capture the same ‘paper bag’ feel of our Save the Date envelops.  With several pieces to our invite suite and a perfectionist behind the wheel, completion of the photoshop invites took forever days a while.  But when I was finally finished (and several folks had reviewed for typos) we confidently sent them off to the same printer that did our Save the Dates!

You’d think the rest of the story would be pretty short and sweet, but it seems our stories always have a few twists and turns before we reach the ‘sweet.’  We got our first proof back….and I wasn’t super happy.  The color seemed off and they had flipped the back of one of our pages.  We made some changes (particularly to the color) and resent files for a new proof.  New proof came (keep in mind several days are passing between the whole send files, get proof, redo).  It was better (although they left out one page of our suite) so we went ahead with the print!  Yay, 150 of these beauties headed our way.  They were due to arrive on Friday and we had a stuffing invite party planned in Richmond for the weekend with MOH Kels and GM Scottee.  The big box arrived!  And the invites were….awful.

There had clearly been an issue with the printer because our beautiful invites were splatter with ink.  L But a good thing also happened: I didn’t panic.  In fact, I never even thought about panicking (maybe I do have a shred of reason?).  Everyone thought I would freak out and I didn’t – which I am happily taking as a sign that I might have a chance at remaining cool, calm and collected should disaster strike on Oct 13^th.  (we’ll see…)  We called the printing company, explained the issue, sent some pictures for proof and were told they would reprint and send to us ASAP.  It meant our stuffing party was canceled and that the invites definitely weren’t being sent on Monday (the 13^th), but we still had time.  (‘They,’ whoever they are?, say you should send out invites 6-8 weeks out and the 13^th would have been just over 8 weeks).

And Monday morning, wouldn’t you know, but an identical box arrived at my office and this time, it contained beautiful invitations.  The brown looked brown and the white, white!  Nothing was flipped – they were perfect J 

PS – We’re at 50 days!  (I know I’m freaking out too)  A quick list of other accomplishments since our last count down check in…

- Weddings attended = 1 (It was gorgeous!  Some stuff I really liked: A) The bride was so happy.  Like, all night.  B) They labeled each item on their candy buffet as someone’s favorite, the bride’s the MOB’s, the groom’s, etc.  Was really fun (and creative)!  C)  They had two beer options and had a decent number of each already poured when we all walked up to the bar at cocktail hour.  That was smart.  D) They served BBQ.  It was delicious.

-Hair Stylist and Makeup Artist contracted! (My trial for both is September 2^nd so I’ll let you know how that goes!)

-Transportation - Javs and I booked a black sedan to come pick us up from Ash Lawn at the end of the night.  The ‘exit’ was never a big deal for me; there will be no sparklers and no professional photographers to capture that moment (which I’m okay with).  Maybe I’ll decide to have something sitting around for you guys to throw at us (cause who wouldn’t want to do that?).  Either way, now we know we got a ride home!  (Don’t worry, you guys do too, remember?)

-Suit – Javs bought one for the big day J

-Rehearsal – I bought a new dress J

-Readers – confirmed! (but still not readings)

-My wedding dress – confirmed its the right one J  I’ve scheduled my two fittings (since all my running means it needs to come in a bit – woop woop!)

-Javs survived his bachelor’s weekend

-I enjoyed my bridal shower J

-ORDERED WEDDING RINGS J

-Invitations – (duh) we’ve sent them!

Hopefully coming soon will be a slew of posts on all the DIY projects I’ve tackled and completed….hopefully.

Invitations (Part I)

Well, with word from many of our invitation’s safe delivery and even an RSVP or two, I think it’s officially time to share with you our invitation selection, creation and mailing journey.  Journey feels like the appropriate word because we’ve come a long way to get to here (where invitations have been mailed and received).  We tried to start earlier than we had for the Save the Dates because they had ended up feeling like such a rush. 

Reject invite (so if you like it better...
don't tell me)

Our first question became style.  What kind of invitations did Javier and I like?  We decided to start with a ‘professionally’ supervised visit to Paper Source.  We looked through those massive books they keep decoratively scatter on a table and learned what we liked:  more modern styled invitations, with interest created by different size and style fonts (rather than graphics or borders).  Great!  Seems easy enough.  Truthfully, most of what we liked seemed pretty simple to me; some fancy font here, and a little color there – and boom = invitation!  Right?

Another 'finalist' invite
turned reject...

Which brought us to our next question…..would we buy off the rack? Or could I create something we liked on my own?  Back in June we sent a few folks ‘6 finalists’ for our invitations.  They were a mix of Audrey designed invites and some found on mint.com.  We learned a few things after this email; when you ask for opinions, people usual provide them (crazy people…).  And when you ask 4+ people for opinions, you usually get 4 different opinions.  Everyone was super nice and included lots of ‘get what you want!’s, but I felt discouraged.  Javs and I had different favorites and I wasn’t convinced I liked any of the options after staring at them for so long…

I started over.  (ridiculous, I know. But I am ridiculous persistent.) I determined I really didn’t like the ones I had designed and succumb to the idea that I couldn’t do every (and that everything didn’t have to be personal and creative and thought up by me).  I ordered proofs for three brand new designs, thinking that seeing them in person might help us make a decision. 

the three proofs we received!

I guess my ‘in hand’ theory worked, because after we received the three proofs there was one that stood out.  I loved it.  Javier loved it.   It seemed to fit our simple, modern look and feel and matched perfectly with an outdoor, less-formal wedding.  Win!  Even better, I could easily return to the website, type our personal information into their designed windows and we’d have our invites in no time!  (Come on, that would have been too easy….)  You see, what I had failed to notice about our winning invite was the wording….it read:

Together with

Bride’s parents and Groom’s parents

BRIDE

&

GROOM

Want you to come to their wedding….you get the rest.

Well, Javier and I aren’t hosting the wedding.  (Trust me, if we were, it would be a lot different than it will be...and I don’t mean in a good way.)  Momma and Daddy-o Staps are footing the bill and hosting this awesome shin-dig, which meant the invitation needed to come from them….but when I tried to remove ‘Together with’….well I couldn’t.  And customer service confirmed for me that I never would be able to….oh.  Oh.  OH.  So we weren’t going to be ordering these easily customizable invitations after all.  But what were we gonna do?

Wish you were here :)

Javier and I are about to send out our invitations!  (eek!)  The final ones should be stuffed tonight and the lot sent on Saturday.  I can't wait to share how they turned out (they are wonderful!), but I'll wait to give you a chance to see them in person first.  As we're excitedly sending out invitations, its hard not to think about some folks that we already know won't be able to be with us on our wedding day.

This is another 'wake up' to reality that I bet most brides go through at some point during their planning.  (Again, I would argue that the industry and the movies have not set us up for success here.  For heavens sake, King Triton (merman) finds a way to attend Ariel's out of water celebration.  Not to mention every comic relief character from Scuttle to the singing Chef.)  But life is not a movie (or a musical) and we knew going into our planning that some folks wouldn't be able to attend.  It just feels different when 'some folks' became actual names on your guest list...

Javier and I got an email from our dear friend Ando (shortly after we introduced him to you in our usher post) saying that he was not going to be able to make the epic journey from Down Under to the US of A in October.  He is busy at law school in Canberra and took a quick look at his class and assignment schedule for the fall and found no place to fit in a trip to the other side of the world.  Totally understandable.  We are, obviously, super disappointed (particularly since I was counting on pointing him towards any guest that wasn't having a good time at the wedding so that his adorable Aussie accent would wash over them and create an experience of pure joy...who's gonna do that now?) but know what a crossing of this magnitude would mean and don't want Ando compromising years of law school for one day.

Javier's godmother, Tia Ba, is also not going to be able to make it to VA in October.  She lives in Milwaukee where she owns a perfect children's book store (shown here).  She called Javier many months ago to let us know that, unfortunately, she'll be working a series of book festivals (where the store usually makes a significant portion of their yearly profits) including one on the weekend of our wedding.  Over the years I've had the chance to witness their playful but heartfelt bond and knew she would have been someone Javier wanted around on such a big day.   I know Javier was so sad to realize she wouldn't be there, but we know she'll always be there for us in our many years to come.  In the same way that you need more than just love in a marriage, you need more than love to get to a wedding, and money and distance and timing are all real obstacles when planning a trip that our wedding would require.

My Grandma.  Oh my Grandma. I have been so blessed to have both a Nana and Grandma close by for the entirety of my life.  They celebrated their 91st and 90th birthdays (respectfully) in the past 7 days and are, easily, two of the strongest women I know.  They have provided me with life lessons, warm memories and more love than I could ever express with words alone.  Both Grandma and Nana, within the last year, have moved out of their homes and into assisted living facilities, but it's my Grandma that has declined faster than was expected.  I held out hope for a long time that she would be well enough to attend the wedding, but we know now that it's just not an option.... My Grandma spent most of her time at home in the kitchen, at least when family was around, and I can't help but laugh at the number of old photos or home videos that find her right there, capturing her in her zone.  She was a baker like I've never known and it will be her Kolache recipe that we share with our guests at the wedding. I'm heartbroken that she won't be there physically, but I know I'll be thinking of her (particularly when I snag a Kolache mid-reception).

There are other friends and family members that have let us know they can't make it and we're sad, of course.  But I'm learning more and more (and I think I've said it on previous posts) that what we're focusing on right now is one day.  When really, Javier and I are in the middle of planning a lifetime, thats what our marriage means.  So yes, I wish desperately that some of these people could be there for what will certainly be a special day, but they'll be around after....its not an 'end' date, but a beginning.  We'll celebrate with Ando in December (if he can work a visit out then) and Tia Ba later in October when we're up in Milwaukee!  I hope everyone we invite can come to Charlottesville for the 13th, but if they can't - Javier and I look forward to a lifetime of celebrating our love with all our friends and family :)

Tradition......TRADITION (if you sung it, you get a gold star!)

There are a lot of 'traditions' surrounding weddings.  Many that were founded in other countries and lots that I probably don't even know about.  When I read some of the origins it seems crazy that some of these have lasted as long as they have and have changed in their 'meaning' so much.  When it comes to our wedding, I feel like Javs and I are going halves-ies.  Let me elaborate....

We're out! Some traditions that we've decided to forego:
Receiving line - Its a great way to ensure you see (and thank) all of your guests.  I'm just anti-line.  I think it can create a bottleneck, slow down the pace, etc.  I'm out.  It just means that Javs and I will have to hustle during dinner to make it around to each table to greet our guests!

that's right, Isabel picked a dress (post to come!)

Matching bridesmaids - I read some interesting origins on this one (that they used to not only match each other, but the bride too? so that evil spirits would be confused and not go after the bride?)  Now, I think it can definitely make for some adorable pictures :) but with my ladies' varying height, age and personalities I just thought letting them pick their own dresses would work best.  More than anything I wanted them to look and feel their best on such a happy day.

Bride in white - I know what you're thinking, 'are those rumors about Aud's wedding dress being red really true?!?!' Nooooo, that's just something I tell Javs to throw him off ;)  But I am curtailing the white shoes for something a little more modern and fun.  Wait til you see them :)

Bouquet Toss/Garter Toss - This was one Javier and I went back and forth on a bunch.  It can definitely be a fun little challenge for your guests at the reception, but I've just never felt quite right about it.  Its always meant with good intentions, but I worry that it causes pressure and maybe that single lady who catches the bouquet doesn't want you to put a ring on it or whatever.  We talked about attaching little gift cards to each for the toss - so the 'winner' was really a 'winner' of something but in the end decided it was something we really didn't care about and that might break up (what we hope will be) a kicking dance party so its out.

Champagne toast - Not everyone likes champagne.  I often see full flutes sitting around on tables after a toast at other weddings.  It just felt like something we didn't want to spend $$ on (especially if it would be wasted).  We'll have a toast, but folks can clink with whatever they have in their hand at the end of it!

Cake - Funny enough, both of our favorite cakes growing up weren't typical cakes (at least they didn't have frosting...)  I was a chocolate pound cake girl all the way (barn girls, you're welcome) and Javs loved his mom's poppy seed cake (which I now love and only partially because I've decided its a defensible breakfast food...).  Icing just isn't our thing.  I usually don't even get a piece of cake when I'm attending a wedding cause I'm just not that excited about it.  Pie though (man I could write a whole post on pie) is a love of mine.  And while Javs likes it too - I think he's indulging me a bit to have us serve it as our wedding dessert.  Thanks love :) 

We're in! Traditions we're planning to uphold on the big day:

Aisle reveal - As you already know (from my wedding dress posts), Javier is not planning to see me before my big walk down the aisle.  This was one that Javs wasn't willing to relinquish.  I tried to explain to him about the benefits of a first look: private pictures of just the two of us when he sees my dress, we'd get to attend more of the day because portraits could be done before guests arrive, timing allows you to select multiple sites for pictures, it can settle any nerves you (both) might be feeling before the ceremony, etc etc.  And while I still think all those things are super true, I think I am really excited for our magic moment and that all our guests will be a part of it. (slightly offensive blog post defending this tradition)

this is us practicing at Ash Lawn

Dad's walking me down - This one was a no brainer for me.  I know some girls think its old fashion or that its too much of a throw back to when father's sold their daughters to husbands, yatta yatta.  Totally fine if you feel that way - I just happen not to.  Even though I'm a self sustaining, independent woman at this point I love the idea that its gonna be my Daddy-o, such a strong representation of my past, of how I grew up to be the person I am, that will be leading me to this next person who is going to help me grow and be the person I'm becoming.

Dances - We're doin' em.  All of them: Me & Javs, Father/Daughter, Mother/Son.  I know this isn't the most exciting portion of the day for our attendees, but we liked the idea of sharing some special time with each of these people.  Besides we're going to schedule them so that you'll have other entertainment while you watch ;)

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue - I'm saving the details for another post, but yep!  I'm planning to have something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue with me for the big day.

Wedding rings - Not everyone elects to buy and wear wedding rings these days.  Lots of ladies are keeping their engagement rings as their 'ring.'  We're hearing more and more from friends that the groom doesn't want to wear a ring (especially if he isn't used to wearing jewelry).  I'm happy that Javs decided he did want a ring and you're silly if you ever thought I wasn't jumping at the chance to add to my hand accessories. 

Honeymoon - Honeymoons are taking lots of new and different forms these days.  Many couples are going on what they call a 'Minimoon' right after the wedding (usually a shorter, less distant trip).  Because of timing or money couples are postponing honeymoons or forgetting the whole tradition altogether.  While $$ is always an issue...I am SO excited that Javier and I are going to be able to take an amazing trip right after the wedding.  I think it'll be a great way to relax after the day and spend our first couple weeks as 'The Cabezas.'  (We're also super pumped that we're going to get to see some family in Chile to celebrate our marriage with them!)

In the end, I never felt like we selected to do something 'because it's tradition!'  Sure, we are following some traditions, but that was never the why behind what we chose them for.  As always, we tried to stay true to what we wanted and make decisions based on the enjoyment of the overall day (not just regarding a checklist of wedding 'must dos')  and I'm really happy and excited about each tradition we are (and aren't) incorporating :)

Shower time

the lovely invite!

In addition to dress success, I also attended a beautiful bridal shower that my three lovely bridesmaids threw for me this weekend :)  Now I know I'm partial, but I think it might have been the best shower ever.  The lovely ladies held the shin-dig at a Logan Circle spot called Churchkey.  In addition to being one of our (me and Javs) favorite spots (because they have a ridiculous list of beers on draft that are all delicious), it was also where Kels, Scottee and we (me and Javs) celebrated on the night of our engagement.  It was a great way to incorporate the neighborhood we've really come to love, into our wedding celebration!

They reserved the private lounge area in the back and decorated with fall ORANGE to brighten the place up.  I wish we had gotten pictures of all the little details, but I'll tell you there was also a similar 'Congrats Audrey' sign.  Then they had little labels for all the delicious food that we were served: fried mac & cheese (yeah, I know!), brandade buttons (which were like risotto balls), fig and proscuitto pizza, veggies and dip, and a shrimp, chorizo and avocado pizza.  To accompany our awesome eats, we had our pick from their extensive beer list, although the girls provided some suggested brews to make ordering easier.  I was excited to see the Sidewalk Saison on their list of suggestions since I knew it was a recent addition to the Churchkey beer list.  It proved to be an excellent suggestion and choice :)

The ladies had also created some adorable cards where guests could write happy memories, marriage advice or recount times when they knew Javs and I were gonna be good for one another.  I can't wait to go back and read all the wonderful (and I"m sure sometimes silly) things the guests wrote.  Then it was time for some games!  In honor of Javier's love for words we had a little scattergories challenge.  Everyone agreed that 'J' is not the easiest letter to start words with, but my cousin Amber ended up being the big winner!  And I tried to take away some tips from the 'items for the wedding day' and 'honeymoon' categories.  Apparently lots of folks think 'cash' might be a good thing to bring to Chile...

Then, like most lucky brides, I had the opportunity to be showered with gifts!  I was truly overwhelmed by the generosity of my friends and family.  I couldn't pick a favorite present if I tried, but I will tell you that we received some very exciting items off our registry :)  I was impressed by a few folks that put together some themed gifts :) And truly touched by others who gave some awesome presents that they thought of on their own.  I didn't have a chance to read the cards (as I tried to keep the present opening portion of the day moving along) but Javier and I read them as I shared with him each gift.  Everyone wrote such kind words, I felt showered with love more than anything.  Was really awesome!  In addition to all the great goods, Lisa was also kind enough to fashion a bouquet using each gifts' ribbon during the present opening.  It is tradition to use this bouquet at my rehearsal and is a sort of way to have these close family and friends with me as I'm getting ready for the big day.  (Read more about this tradition!)

Then, Javs came!  Well kind of.  Those sneaky bridesmaids had gotten my fiance in on my shower fun and had him record some trivia questions and answers to test my Javier knowledge.  He asked me 13 questions (in honor of our wedding date) and I was pleasantly surprised at how well I did.  I missed a question about the worst meal we'd ever made (a cream of wheat disaster that Javs can share with you) and my biggest Javier pet peeve (although he named all three I had been debating between....).  But we hit some high notes when I guessed that Aladdin would be the Disney character he'd want to be if he could chose any and that Jamie Cullum was the wedding expense we'd splurge on if $$ was no object (he's a pianist and singer that costs a measly $150,000 to have play at private events....).  It sounds silly, but I was mostly reall happy to see his face :)  and feel like he got to be a part of my special celebration as well.  Great idea bridesmaids!

As always, it was really the people that made my shower such a special experience. Summer is a busy time and I'm learning that, while a bride's life is somewhat put on hold during her planning year, the people around you still have other stuff going on (who knew?) - so I was really touched when so many of my friends and family were able to make it!  I'm lucky to have friends going through this planning process right now too - cause they know how important these events feel :)  And so many college girls that came from all over - to fall right back into our fun and chatter like no time had passed. 

And my DC friends and family braved some scorching heat to join in on my fun day as well.  Thanks so much to everyone for coming!  And a big thanks to those that couldn't make it, but sent beautiful presents and lots of well wishes.  We missed you, but your love was really felt!

I tried hard to savor every minute, but like all wedding related occasions, it felt like the whole weekend flew by too fast!  I'm sure this is just a snapshot of how I'll feel after the wedding, but I definitely already thought: 'I wish I had spent more time talking to ______' and 'I hope ________ knows how much I really appreciated them coming' and of course 'Oh no, I'm behind on my Thank You's!'  But I can write _______ an email to make sure I've caught up on whats going on in their life and I'll make sure I tell _______ again the next time I see them how much it meant that they came.  And the Thank You's will get done when they get done.  I'd rather spend some time and try to express to everyone how happy I felt with their thoughtfulness. 

So for now, I'll continue to work on savoring these moments and leave you with balloons :)

Can't Weight!

It was a big 'wedding' weekend for the Staples/Cabezas so I'll fill you in on as much as I can this week :)  starting with a big outing that took place yesterday:

I got a call about a month or so ago from Hannelore's bridal salon telling me that my wedding dress was in.  It was in!  They asked me to make an appointment to come try on the dress to confirm it was the correct one, size and had any additions that we might have ordered.  We decided that the day after my bridal shower (a post soon to come!) would be prefect since Mom, Kels and bridesmaids would all be around and could join.

I have to admin that I was a little nervous about seeing my dress again.  Mostly for two reasons: 1) I have not seen my dress pop up anywhere.  I'm reading a lot of wedding blogs, receive BRIDE magazine every month, and am sent a new wedding coupon/contest/check list/giveaway every day.  So I am watching wedding dresses pop up all over the place...but not mine.  I took this observation and did two things: a) grew anxious.  Was there something wrong with my dress?  Why did no other brides see it and think 'WOW' the way I had? b) became very excited.  I knew I wanted something a little different.  After looking at so many wedding dresses I really started to get the 'been there, done that' feeling from a LOT that I tried on.  When I finally found the one, it definitely felt unique to me in a way I loved.  Maybe it truly would be something new when I wore it in October.

While I can't show you pictures from my try-on (for fear of Javs' eyes), I'll tell you that my #1 reason for nerves was quickly put to rest.  I still LOVE my dress.  It feels like me, while being both romantic and distinctive.  It has everything I was looking for in it and I think Javier is going to LOVE it too :)   Mrs. Cabezas and Isabel were able to join me yesterday (they hadn't seen it yet!) and both agreed Javs would approve :)  YAY!

To make up for the lack of wedding dress eye candy, I'll share with you guys the two pairs of shoes I brought to try on with the dress.  I'm planning to go along with the super trendy idea of wearing some colorful shoes under my white dress!  If you are perusing other wedding blogs these days I'm sure you've seen the fun pictures of brides holding up their dresses to reveal shoes of bright yellow, teal or even red!  While I really loved the orange pair (perfect for fall!), they were not nearly as comfortable as the multi-color pair.  I'm still debating which way to go, but with such a long day, the smarts in me scream GO FOR COMFORT.

Reason #2 for my nervousness (and the connection to my title): weight.  Dun, dun DUN.  Its on every bride's mind and, unfortunately, I am no exception (so much for unique, right?).  I want to look my very best for the wedding and true to 'bride' form, I think my best is a few L-Bs less.  I don't think I've gone too weight crazy conscious these days, (I had taco bell last week and waaaay too much pizza this past weekend...) but I am trying focus more on consistent exercise.  I was definitely more of an 'exercise when I thought of it' kind of person, but for the past two months I've been running 3-4 times a week pretty religiously.  I'm no Usain Bolt, but I'm sticking with it and am up to 3 miles for my regular run.  In addition to my clothes fitting better, I'm noticing that I feel better.  I guess the extra dose of endorphins is helping to combat some of that 'omg, the wedding is getting super close' stress I'm starting to feel as well. 



this is my route except I do the full circles and repeat some of it to get up to 3 miles
(also I was totally fine after my fall, my dignity sustained the only injury)



I knew the wedding dress would be the real 'test' of my new workout routine.  I ordered the same size as the sample dress I tried on back in December with the advice from my consultant.  The sample was sucking me in like a sausage a little tight, but 'after I toned up a bit' (my unprompted consultant's words) I was sure it would work.  And I guess it has because the dress felt great :)  It was big actually!  Phew! So even though I'm not tracking exactly what I'm losing, I know that I'm feeling great and must be toning something. That sense of relief and such solid proof that I'm making some progress is certainly inspiration enough to keep it up until October. 

I cannot live without books. - TJ

And we cannot have a wedding without readers!  (Ok, to be honest, I bet we could...but go with it cause it ties in my TJ quote, alright?)  Javier and I are truly blessed with amazing people that love and support us.  And we were happy to have the opportunity to ask some of those people to help us out on our big day.  We have already introduced you to our bridesmaids, groomsmen and ushers, so today we'll share a bit about the special people that we've asked to read at the wedding!

Tia Honore

Javier has asked his Aunt Honore (pictured here with all of the Dugan siblings at Mame's wedding) to be one of our readers and she has kindly agreed!  Many of Mrs. Cabezas siblings still live in Milwaukee, but a few have scattered about the US (none landing in MD, DC or VA).  We knew as we planned the wedding in Charlottesville that not all would be able to attend, so it means a lot  that Tia Honore has promised to leave the warm glow of the Midwest, venture across 4 states (ok it kind of depends on how you go, but at least 4), and be there in person to articulate our selected words on October 13th.  Since all of Javier's aunts and uncles will not be able to attend, we are really excited to have a representative participating in the wedding in such a special way!  I am particularly excited that it is Honore that will be reading since I have had the chance to get to know her a bit on some of her trips to DC and during my pioneer excursion to the Great Lakes states.  In addition to kindly hosting us several times during our Milwaukee visit, she shares an interest in theater with Javier and I which has always made her someone that was easy to talk to! Don't worry, we, of course, checked her resume prior to delivering the offer and thought her experience as an English teacher and time spent on school and community productions just qualified her for the job :) Maybe we can find a more dramatic reading for her to do at the wedding...

Uncle Marty
My Uncle Marty , also my godfather, was the member of my family that we asked to also read at the wedding.  He and I have always shared an appreciation for good country music and fine pick up trucks that connected us from the beginning.  I think he was surprised when I carried my pick up truck off to UVA (instead of VA Tech), but proved the love for his nieces out weighed (if only ever so slightly) his love for Tech when he sported this orange and blue tie to Kels and Scottee's wedding. Maybe we can ask him to bring it out for a reprise come October? And I think Javier and he bonded over their mutual love for cheesy nerdy punny jokes.  I will always remember my Uncle convincing me to try carrots (a vegetable I claimed not to like when I was younger).  'Well carrots are good for your eyes, they'll help you see better,' my Uncle insisted.  And my four year old self (or whatever age I was) played into his hands perfectly with a, 'how do you know they'll help my eyes?' To which I received, 'Well have you ever seen a bunny wearing glasses?'  And I hadn't.  (And haven't.) So try them I did.

We are really excited to have both aunt and uncle sharing in our marriage ceremony.  Now we should figure out what they're going to read....