Suit Up!

That's right, the men in our wedding won't be naked (sorry to disappoint ladies), but they actually won't be wearing suits either...Javier and I finally made some decisions this past weekend regarding our male members wedding garb.

This has been a decision that we've struggled with quite a bit.  I think we knew early on that we didn't want tuxedos, they just didn't fit our outside Ash Lawn celebration, but I kept telling Javier that I wanted his wedding attire to feel special too.  For months now I've been sending groomsmen pics from blogs I read and he did a decent amount of browsing around himself and eventually came up with: vests.  We both liked the look, it would add a little something extra to keep the day unique and when he took his jacket off (which he inevitably would) he would still have some sweet digs underneath.  Great!  Just to be sure we headed to Joseph A. Banks to try on a vest (since I had never seen Javs in one...because he hasn't worn one since his senior prom...).

Can everyone just pause a moment to admire how good my fiance looks in that three piece suit (ignore the flip flops...)?  They didn't have a brown suit for us to try on, but we learned quickly that Javs could rock the vest :)  We both liked the three piece, but, as I said above, knew that Javs would probably take off his jacket fairly soon after our ceremony so we did a little experimenting while at the shop. 

When Javs had been looking for vests on his own, he seemed to gravitate towards the darker, chocolate look, often with a lighter khaki pant.  Did we dare?  So he tried on this tan suit with the dark grey vest so we could start to get the feel for how the contrast might look.  While this isn't perfect (because he is still wearing flip flops) and the vest wasn't exactly the color we wanted, we did feel confident that it would be a pulled together look fitting for any fashionable groom.  YAY - Javs attire decision made!

Now for the boys.  I'm (personally) still really happy with the fact that each of the lovely ladies on my side will be sporting their own dresses and looks for the big day and thought it seemed silly to have the guys counter with perfectly matching vests and ties.  I had been stock piling 'vest' pictures for a while and asked Javs to take a look and see what he liked and didn't.  In the end, he agreed that having the guys mix matched a bit would work better for our feel (and give the guys some flexibility/options for what they  decided to wear).  These are some examples of the look we are going for...

Each of the boys (best man, groomsman and the ushers - who I realized today we've never introduced you too....a post soon to come!)  will wear slacks or khakis that they already own and a vest in a brown of their choosing.  I had done some perusing on Etsy (every bride's saving grace) and found a shop that specialized in vintage men's fashion.  I saw that they had put together some custom wedding vests before and asked them if they could have vests to us by October.   They could!  and each vest would be $40 (totally reasonable based on suit rental costs or department store prices I had seen!).  We didn't want the boys to have to spend a ton of $$ on new clothes and thought this would work out nicely.  (and hey! they'll have a trendy vest to keep for future festive occasions.)

We decided that my Daddy-o would sport a brown suit of his choosing sans vest (kind of making Javs the culmination of all other male attire on the day).  Then we'll use ties to do a little bit of coordinating and connecting (orange ties: Javs, groomsman and Dad, green ties: ushers).  Whoop whoop!  Happy to cross another decision off the list and super excited to see how fabulous these boys look on the big day.

Practice makes perfect!

And practice we shall!  Or, rehearse, at least.
Rehearsing your wedding ceremony prior to your wedding day is somewhat of a norm so that all those wonderful people you've asked to participate have a chance to get to town and settle in, learn where they stand, when they walk, etc.  In addition, it gives me and Audrey a chance to walk through everything once since chances are we'll be somewhat nervous on the big day with everyone watching!  After our wedding rehearsal, we will, as many couples do, be inviting the folks in the wedding to join us for dinner.  My mom has very kindly and generously offered to host said dinner and has been helping search for a location for the rehearsal dinner nearly since our first trip to Charlottesville almost 7 months ago.

Mom has been incredibly patient with me and Audrey as we've danced around Charlottesville on a number of visits, scoping out possible rehearsal dinner locales.  She and Isabel even travelled to Cville on their own time to try a few of the potential restaurants we were looking at for dinner.  It's definitely been a process in its own right!  And I'm not sure we could even put our finger on exactly what we had so much trouble with: some of the restaurants ended up being too small for our group; others were so unresponsive to our inquiries that we felt uncomfortable with their service level; a few offered less than optimal set ups/privacy; and one or two fell below expectations as far as food quality.  Very troublesome indeed.

And then we got creative.  Instead of looking at restaurants for our rehearsal dinner, we turned to good ol' UVA.  No, not the Rotunda.  Unfortunately, because it's being renovated, you can't rent out the Dome Room until 2014.  But we did get to another iconic UVA building: Pavilion VII - the original building of The Lawn!  For those who don't know, Thomas Jefferson was brilliant.  In order to be able to build all 10 pavilions and the Rotunda, as he had originally intended, he decided to build them in sporadic order so that government officials would continue to provide him funding.  So he started with Pavilion VII and hopped around the Lawn, eventually constructing the Rotunda later on.  Pretty cool!

UVA has a special place in both mine and Audrey's heart, and we are SUPER excited to be able to have our rehearsal dinner right on Grounds!  It may have taken a while to find the venue, but we are so excited about that my mom was willing to keep looking around and that we were able to reserve Pavilion VII!  So on October 12, we'll rehearse the ceremony itself and then head on back to Pavilion VII for some delicious eats with some of our favorite people in the whole world at one of our favorite places in the whole world!

Good things come to those who wait

-a quick tangent from our planning progression.

I want to stop and give some credit to Javs for how much I love my engagement ring. (I know, I've jumped back 2 months just when it felt like we were getting on a decision making roll - i.e. no friends, I did not buy a wedding dress this weekend, but I will catch you up on that later...)

I bring this up today only because another colleague announced her engagement and eagerly passed around a picture of her bling. As you can see - its gorgeous. Really beautiful. And yet I look at it and immediately think 'I don't like it as much as my ring.' Which is great, right? I mean isn't that the point? Shouldn't she in turn look at my ring and think the same endearing thought for her own? The ring (like the wedding) is supposed to be about you and not so cookie cutter that any girl could pick it up and feel equally special and loved wearing it. (Whoa. That's a lot of pressure for a ring...) But I think part of my ring attachment comes from knowing the time and love that Javier put into purchasing it.

I was getting impatient. There I said it, admitted it out loud not just to myself but to witnesses. Javier and I had talked about getting married way before our Albert outing. He was the one, and I was his and we both knew it. We even went as far as talking high level planning for the big day. Details like...2012...Charlottesville...October...Jamie Cullum singing at the reception. (Wow look at how much of that is coming true already!) So there it was October 1st and I was ring-less and wondering.

You guys know the end of that story, but I'm still weaseling the rest of the back story out of Javs. Like that he started looking a long time ago.
-That he stole my rings back in the spring when I forgot them one day (one of two times I have forgotten them in the 3 years we've been dating) to learn what size I was. (I've found out since then that my pearl ring was actually bent and the jeweler straightened it out for me for free while Javs was getting it sized...never noticed.)
-I've seen a value audit dated back in July and asked 'you had it in July?!!?' - somewhat accusingly.
-He's described to me the stress he felt picking a size (even after using my rings as a starting point) because he wanted it to slip on so perfectly in that moment.
-That he hugged the man he bought the ring from when he finally got to pick it up (which, I know, sounds very Javs because he is such a hugger, but still).
-That his mom was actually the one to suggest the shop where he bought it because his father had shopped there a long time ago.
Just some of the details I've learned of a whole story he experienced that I didn't even know about.

I give Javs a hard time about not being much of a planner - whoops. He planned so much and bought the most expensive thing we own as a gift...for me. And I love it. And I love that people look at it and say it 'looks like me.'
(I went wedding dressing shopping for one day and whined to him that I needed his help! and wanted to talk about the dresses - don't worry he's not interested and wants to be suprised.)

But he planned a really big and really fun surprise for me for months! And on Oct 1st all I was thinking was 'hurry up and buy it, how hard could it be? we need to get planning!' - man do I need to work on those patience.

But I'm so glad he took the time, so glad he planned it out and so glad I haven't wanted to take it off since it slipped perfectly on my finger.

Good job Javs :) Love you :)

**Advice Alert** Learn to have patience. Good things come to those who wait.

Eenie, meenie, miney, mo

Javs and I have stalled (just momentarily) in our wedding planning which is why there have been no posts regarding the announcement of our venue and date. Apparently, it is these two minor details on which the rest of your planning has to hinge - who knew?

For a variety of reasons, we are still in the debating portion of nailing down that date and locale, but I'm learning something through the process!!

**Advice Alert** - Pick the right guy to plan your wedding with.


There have already been more tears and long sighs and 'looks' from me during this planning period than I was hoping for in the entire year. (I was setting my ambitions high.) And the truth is, its stressful. I know everyone says that, but then you get here and my goodness - all those brides were right. (I think I thought if I told myself enough that I wasn't gonna stress about it, that I just wouldn't. You know, a little mind over matter.) But not the case.

Now that being said, I'm lucky enough to have found another being of the homo sapien variety that knows me so well and knows how to handle those rolled or wet eyes when they arrive. As stressed as I've felt, I'm also still having a ton of fun....because I'm doing it with him. And he's fun. And he makes it fun for me.

One of my wedding blogs said this is one of the first major projects you'll work on together which is why it can be particularly stressful. (Javs and I completed a corn hole set with minimal emotional scarring, but I guess that's not quite equivalent to the current project we've undertaken. I think corn hole cost us a whopping $100 -totally worth it by the way.) But in some ways, maybe the planning is a good test. It's going to be stressful - so you'll learn a little bit about how that affects you both and how you handle it together.

Javier has been amazing - reminding me that its 'just one day,' understanding when I do find things that are important to me, giving me space and time to grieve (or vent) over options that just aren't going to work out and being there with new ideas or solutions. I said earlier that I was so happy at how excited he was about starting to plan the day. I know some girls wouldn't mind either way if their boy was into it or not, but its been super perfect for me! And I guess thats my message - if you have the right match for you - it'll work out.

And if you can find someone you can plan with - the marriage part just might be worth it.

Hola! Me llamo Audrey Cabezas...

...or at least that's what I can say when Javier and I arrive in CHILE for our honeymoon :)


I figured since Javs' post left so many questions, I should provide our readers with some concrete, down and dirty details (to keep their interest).

I think I'm also supposed to be providing some sort of advice or philosophical thoughts on the blog, right? I mean that's why I'm eating up Style Me Pretty and WeddingBee......and Ruffled and Wedding Chicks...and JuneWeddingBug.... but anyways, I'll start sharing some of the great wisdom I'm sure I'm gaining from this experience :)

I guess our honeymoon came about because of our priorities.

**Advice Alert** - Make sure you and your better half know what your priorities are for the big day and after :)

One of our biggest priorities is family & friends! Javs said it in his post, we're willing to pass on dream wedding venues cause they're too small. Lord knows we have some of the best family and friends around so having everyone show up to celebrate is important :)

Our honeymoon locale did not make the priority list. I mean of course we want to go some place fun, beautiful, relaxing, exciting, etc etc, but there were many places that Javier and I named to fit that bill.

So when Mrs. Cabezas suggested a post-nuptial pilgrimage to the homeland for some Chilean family celebrating - we jumped at the idea! We had already been struggling with how to include this portion of the family in our day without it costing an arm and a leg for anyone. Now, we're going to 1) get to see so many of the Cabezas clan and 2) get to go to an amazingly awesome place for our honeymoon!! We're hoping Javier's cousin will help with some of the planning for a small reception for the family when we arrive! So we'll spend a few days in Vina Del Mar - soaking up some Cabezas love - and then head to some of the volcanoes and lakes for which Chile is known to do some newlywed relaxing.

Priority + family = Chile honeymoon :)

so no venue, no date - but boy are we starting to plan that vacation. What does that say about our priorities....

Hasta la vista!

Javier popped THE question

As many of you know, (I write as if I have readers already) Javier popped THE question just one week ago today. I thought there was no better way to start my blogging career, than with a recount of one of the happiest days of my life.

Well first off, I was just a mess at work. (okay, I can admit it...I was highly suspicious that the night was going to be the night) We had a date night planned, which truly isn't that out of the ordinary. We try to go on date nights during the week whenever we can (just out to dinner or a show), but this date night had been planned (by Javs) just far enough in advance to make me wonder.

We started with a walk along the Tidal Basin (a route we like to meander often). He was acting so normal - discussing his day, mine, etc that I thought for sure I must have been wrong. Tonight wasn't going to be the night at all because he wasn't nervous at all. (I had heard from so many guys that they were just terrified when the moment finally came which inevitably caused an awkwardness that is palpable.) So there he was, jabbering away per usual.

Then he suggested we stop by to see Al on our way to dinner....

The Albert Einstein memorial was a stop on one of our first dates. (He took me on a White House tour right before Christmas so it was all decorated. Then Old Ebbitt Grill for brunch. Then to see Al - his favorite DC memorial.)

Once we arrived at the Einstein memorial....I knew this was it. It was like a little switch, inherited through natural selection that tells boys to panic in moments of intense vulnerability, was flipped. He was adorably and obviously nervous. There were other people at the memorial, which happens sometimes when we visit. We usually wait for others to leave so we can hang out with Al alone (its not that large of a memorial), but Javier seemed particularly impatient and unsure of what to do with our unwanted company. They finally left and we walked around a bit. I plopped on Al's lap and this was when Javier started. He reminded me that this had been the spot of one of our first dates and told me how much he had come to love me since. Then he got down on one knee, pulled out a ring and said 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?'

I'm giving him a hard time, but I think I was equally nervous and said something like 'of course I'll marry you!' (not like I haven't been thinking about this moment for months to prepare my answer ;)

Lots of kisses and hugs and 'Oh my god, we're getting married!!'s ensued.

He had made reservations at 4 different restaurants to continue our celebration. (what a little planner :) We ended up at Tallula with Kelsey & Scott (the spot Javier first met them as 'my boyfriend') We got to call my parents and drove to MD to share our news with Javs' mom, sister and brother. It was such a wonderful night. I loved how excited he was (and has been since that moment)

It was a great start to a new chapter in our lives together...