Making it Official

We’ve had two big accomplishments recently that make me feel like we’re officially getting married.  It wasn’t getting back RSVPs, giving our final head count to the caterer or even picking up my wedding dress (which I did today!).  No, the first accomplishment was far less glamorous than any of that.  It involved me pre make up and wet headed at our local courthouse.  That’s right folks, Javier and I officially have our marriage license J

It seems silly, but that little piece of paper is really what makes the difference.  It’s what legally allows me to check that ‘Married’ box on all future forms (whoop, whoop!).  It is what both the state and federal governments will use to give me that tax break I’m so looking forward to ;)  It means something.  Its why folks that have live together for years, still want to get married.  It means being legally bound to someone (how crazy and yet awesome does that sound?).  If it didn’t mean anything, why would so many Americans be fighting for the right to get it, no matter who they want to marry (Go Freedom to Marry!).  And so many Americans fighting against it?  It’s just a piece of paper, but it’s what means I’ll be Miss Audrey Staples one day and Mrs. Audrey Cabezas another.  (Actually, there is a whole lot more paper work for that one to be official, but you get the idea).  We’ve got the paper in hand so that come October 13^th its real. It won’t be just pretty outfits and good food, but a real, substantial line that we cross.  One that has consequences and acknowledgements.  That just makes it so cool to me.

I sound all excited and whimsical now, but I was mostly annoyed with VA and the courthouse prior to receiving said piece of paper.  In VA, both parties must be present to obtain a marriage license (really VA?  You need us both?  Don’t you know we’re busy planning a wedding and probably can’t find 15 mins where we are both available and able to be inside the courthouse at the same time?).  I kid, but it was difficult finding a time that we could both go, but last Thursday we were there just past 8am (3^rd couple in line) to obtain our license.  After a brief dispute between the two of us and an ancient computer, we oathed that our names and social security numbers were our own and received that piece of paper J  YAY  (There are no adorable pictures of us holding the licenses in or outside of the courthouse because 1) we could not bring our phones inside and therefore left them in the car and 2) didn’t I mention it was pre make up and wet headed?)

The other big accomplishment that makes we think we’re official (and not just planning this mythical party for no tangible reason) was the purchase and retrieval of our wedding rings J  I’ve been surprised to learn as our friends start to get married that wedding rings aren’t a given for everyone.  Lots of ladies keep their engagement rings only as a symbol of their marriage and anti-jewelry guys sometimes don’t opt for the wedding band.  Since both my parents wore a ring (and all the movies seem to teach us that ring = married) I’ve always thought that we would both wear wedding rings after the big day.  I was relieved to learn that Javs felt the same way (he must have been watching the same movies).  So on one of our last visits to Tiny Jewel Box (where Javs got my engagement ring) Javier did some trying on of their rings.  It was…painful to watch.  Not because he didn’t’ know what he wanted…he figured that out pretty quick: simple white gold band.  But because he near panicked every time he attempted to remove one of the rings he was trying on.  The poor sales clerk had to try to relax my ever reddening fiancé so that he could remove their (what was I’m sure, very pricey) ring from his finger.  But they always managed to slip it off.  He’s the same way at home whenever he tries his ring on except I fall more into the panic than the clerk did and end up being no help.  We’re hoping that its just that he isn’t used to wearing a ring on his left hand (but there may be some re-sizing in our future…).

We got pricing for both our rings at TJB thinking it would be special for both of us to have our rings come from the shop.  Unfortunately, they were both going to be expensive L  I had always known I didn’t want diamonds in my wedding band, but wanted some etching on a white gold band to match my engagement ring.  The designer of my ring did make a matching wedding ring that I was incredibly tempted to get (it’d match so perfectly!).  We tried to do some shopping around (particularly for Varna wedding bands) but quickly learned that if we wanted my band to match my engagement ring we’d have to pay for it.  In the end I got convinced (and I’m happy I did!) to get the expensive Varna wedding band from TJB.  It is so beautiful and matches so well I can hardly stand it (and by that I mean I don’t want to take it off when I’m parading around at home in it).  For Javier’s ring, on the other hand, we opted for a cheaper online version.  We ordered from Brilliant Earth, in part because of their awesome reviews, but also because of their ethical practices.  Javier ended up being super happy with the ring (although he thinks it s a bit on the light side.  Why he wants a ring that’s sure to drive him to the bottom of the ocean should he overboard, I’ll never know, but he claims he likes the feel of a heavier ring).  Now we both have them in hand and ready to go, it’s a whole nother level of real.  Looking forward to next weekend when I can wear mine around for good!