Reflections on my first year of teaching...

We're a month into year two and I decided (with some encouragement from my Mom) that I should write down some of my thoughts on my first year of teaching...

I survived.  I feel that it is important to point this fact out because for much of last year I was very concerned that I might not.  I guess I should also note that all 91 of my students survived as well (because there was equal concern regarding that outcome at times).  That said, I made a lot of mistakes.  A.  Lot.  A.  Lot.  A.  Lot.  

I lost my patience too quickly and too often.

I was so concerned with deadlines and planning that I often forgot to focus on infusing enthusiasm in my students.

I was worried about classroom management and let my passion take a backseat to order.

I let the content dictate too much of what I did.

I did not laugh enough with my students.

I lost my patience too quickly and too often.

I had a veteran teacher friend send me this video a month or so into last year.  I watched it twice and cried both times.  They voiced all my worries and all my feelings; and yet I struggled to believe it could get better, that I could get better.

I didn't ruin everything.  I mean I tried my hardest.  And I did some good stuff.  There were some highlight lessons...like our simulation of an assembly line during our Industrial Revolution unit.  And our two days during the study of World War II where each student received a Holocaust victim to follow through the years of the war (like at the Holocaust Museum).  Those were the days when students seemed to enjoy themselves and learn.  Those were the days that got me through last year.

They loved that I displayed their work.  Our school is full of awesome artists and they all really enjoyed looking at each other's work.

I baked them these disgusting hard biscuits used in the trenches of World War I and you would have thought I showered them with cakes and bonbons.

And by the end of the year I was finally comfortable enough and confident enough to relax a bit in the classroom.  It allowed me to enjoy some final months with my students, but it's amazing how hard it is to break first impressions.  

Through all the tear-filled FaceTimes and all-nighters I think my family and I worried that I'd made a mistake.   I grew up in a home with two educators, had a number of teacher friends and have been told many times just how difficult it is.  But nothing....nothing can compare to living it.  Teaching is by far the hardest thing I have ever done.

Skip to this year.  I started the year with a notebook full of my own reflective suggested re-dos and don'ts.  I got a new group of kiddos that, so far, appear to be angels present here on Earth.  But I believe the biggest and most important change has been in myself.  I'm so much more relaxed and so much more myself in the classroom this year.  I knew the real me was shining through when the 'cool' kids started rolling their eyes at my cheesy puns and excitement over history.  I'm enjoying this year so much.  So much more than last.  If this is what teaching is, then I'm in.  I know it won't always be this good.  I have a classroom of only 22 students and no SOLs to tend with, but I also know I'll never have my first year again.  I'll have new schools and new kids, but I'm a teacher now and I know I can do it.  I am a teacher.  And the truth is I like it and I'm pretty sure I'll be good at it one day.